This book is meant to be a journey. A quest if you will, to explore your unique sexuality, and to map it out specifically, so that you know your likes, and dislikes, and can share that information with your mate for more satisfying sexual adventures.
The language in the erotic stories was kept graphically realistic on purpose, so as to present a truthful representation of the type of fantasy portrayed in each story. Most of the story ideas were generated from actual clients who shared their favorite fantasies with me.
You will notice that some of the stories have a combination of fantasy elements and may cross over the categories I assigned to them. It’s not an exact science…I tried to take the Sociological approach to the material, and interview literally thousands of women about their likes and dislikes in their sex fantasies.
The divisions and categories I have chosen to group these fantasies in were modeled after Nancy Friday’s first book on female sexual fantasies in the 1960’s. In that book, “My Secret Garden” she outlined about 14 rooms in the “House of Fantasy” (She was working with letters sent to her responding to an advertisement in the paper).
In researching many books on the subject I realized that a woman’s fantasies today, may bore her to tears in a few years, so it’s a bit like taking a snapshot of a gazelle in flight…Women’s sexual fantasies change over time. They ebb and flow with the social forces and personal pressures of daily life for each woman. This is merely one researcher’s snapshot of a particular time in America, given a small sample of women (2,000 to 3,000 women participated in writing the book).
I fully realize that what was really attempted here was to analyze how women think about sexual fantasies. And, that women are purposefully mysterious and don’t want us to know and understand how they are thinking. So it was a bit like jousting with windmills to begin with. I tried to do a good job accurately representing what women told me excited them…but, that’s for you to decide.
As you read through the book, make notes in the back about your likes and dislikes. Grade stories that excite you a little, a lot, or not at all and notate which ones they are. When you finish reading you will have a small map of your current sexual fantasies that you can share with your sexual partners in the future.
Ten years down the road, if you read through this book again, I’ll bet the map has changed. Read, and enjoy!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Forward by Don Juan Quixote
When I first thought to research and write this book, I mused that it might be possible to plumb the depths of the female sex psyche and arrive at a complete, thorough and all encompassing understanding of women’s sex fantasies. My purpose was to help women on a journey of self discovery, and to aid heterosexual men in understanding what arouses their ladies to heights of passion. Now, after conversing with literally thousands of women on the subject of what their “Hidden Bouquet” of sex fantasies are, I realize the great folly in ever fully arriving at a complete, thorough, and all encompassing understanding of such a vast and complex subject.
Now, I feel a bit like Christopher Columbus standing at the shores of a vast uncharted Brave New World. For those women who have said to me, “If I tell you what turns me on, then where is the mystery?”...Fear not dear lady. I have come to realize that the vast array of what turns women on and the great and abiding mystery that is the female sex psyche is largely untouched, and in no great danger of being completely understood.
This work is merely a scratch on the surface of the continent we call the female subconscious, and in no way represents all that a woman is, or can be…My hope is that this book will help those people who are as deeply mystified by the subject as I am.
I was raised in a very sheltered situation. In fact, as a young man you would have been hard pressed to find anyone who was more mystified by what women want out of sex. In my early twenties, while attending the University of Minnesota, I happened across Nancy Friday’s pioneering book “My Secret Garden”…I bought it, read it voraciously. Then I read it again.
Since that time, I have returned again and again to that book, and the wellspring of knowledge that has burst forth from it. At the time of Nancy Friday’s pioneering book, there where no other books on the subject. Now, there are whole sections of the bookstore covering it.
This book is a slightly different approach to quelling ignorance on the subject of what women wants from a man.
I must say that some 25 years, two marriages, three children, , many and many sexual relationships later, I may have made some progress in that regard…But I humbly realize that before me lies a great undiscovered frontier that stretches as far as the eye can see, and as far as the human brain can imagine. I would even be so bold as to say that no man will ever fully understand the great mystery that is woman. So, for you women out there who hang your hat on being purposefully mysterious as a method of enticing men and women alike, rest assured that this book is not a threat to your “air of mystery.”
However, it is my hope that this book will help people go on a quest…A journey of self discovery into the belly of the brave new world called the mystery of female arousal, and come out with a deeper knowledge which will enrich your life, and greatly increase the joy you get from sex.
The idea here is, for you to stroll through the secret garden, picking and choosing your very own “hidden bouquet” of sex fantasies. Then you may, as other women have, discover within yourself beautiful, fragrant, new flowers for your personal bouquet that you never knew existed. And so, let us stroll together through the secret garden of sex fantasies that some women have been kind enough to share with me, and see which flowers might appeal to you.
I have organized these fantasies from what seem to be the most common and acceptable (from my small sampling of thousands of women), to the more forbidden, uncommon, and exotic. Feel free to touch, smell, and taste each flower to see what it is that you like and don’t like in the secret garden…All the while realizing that this is merely a small part of the vast, far reaching garden that is the female sex psyche. Enjoy!
Now, I feel a bit like Christopher Columbus standing at the shores of a vast uncharted Brave New World. For those women who have said to me, “If I tell you what turns me on, then where is the mystery?”...Fear not dear lady. I have come to realize that the vast array of what turns women on and the great and abiding mystery that is the female sex psyche is largely untouched, and in no great danger of being completely understood.
This work is merely a scratch on the surface of the continent we call the female subconscious, and in no way represents all that a woman is, or can be…My hope is that this book will help those people who are as deeply mystified by the subject as I am.
I was raised in a very sheltered situation. In fact, as a young man you would have been hard pressed to find anyone who was more mystified by what women want out of sex. In my early twenties, while attending the University of Minnesota, I happened across Nancy Friday’s pioneering book “My Secret Garden”…I bought it, read it voraciously. Then I read it again.
Since that time, I have returned again and again to that book, and the wellspring of knowledge that has burst forth from it. At the time of Nancy Friday’s pioneering book, there where no other books on the subject. Now, there are whole sections of the bookstore covering it.
This book is a slightly different approach to quelling ignorance on the subject of what women wants from a man.
I must say that some 25 years, two marriages, three children, , many and many sexual relationships later, I may have made some progress in that regard…But I humbly realize that before me lies a great undiscovered frontier that stretches as far as the eye can see, and as far as the human brain can imagine. I would even be so bold as to say that no man will ever fully understand the great mystery that is woman. So, for you women out there who hang your hat on being purposefully mysterious as a method of enticing men and women alike, rest assured that this book is not a threat to your “air of mystery.”
However, it is my hope that this book will help people go on a quest…A journey of self discovery into the belly of the brave new world called the mystery of female arousal, and come out with a deeper knowledge which will enrich your life, and greatly increase the joy you get from sex.
The idea here is, for you to stroll through the secret garden, picking and choosing your very own “hidden bouquet” of sex fantasies. Then you may, as other women have, discover within yourself beautiful, fragrant, new flowers for your personal bouquet that you never knew existed. And so, let us stroll together through the secret garden of sex fantasies that some women have been kind enough to share with me, and see which flowers might appeal to you.
I have organized these fantasies from what seem to be the most common and acceptable (from my small sampling of thousands of women), to the more forbidden, uncommon, and exotic. Feel free to touch, smell, and taste each flower to see what it is that you like and don’t like in the secret garden…All the while realizing that this is merely a small part of the vast, far reaching garden that is the female sex psyche. Enjoy!
About the author
I am a divorced father of three (Michelle 9, David 11, and Rebecca 12). I’m currently writing a book, a novel, daily comedy blogs on myspace, a grocery list, an ever growing To Do List, and adapting a screenplay with my daughter Rebecca.
I live in Apopka, Florida…and study Martial Arts with my kids. My daughters (Rebecca and Michelle) like to draw and paint (as I do), and my son (David) loves video games (big surprise) and Pokemon. For Christmas we bought “Guitar Hero III” and “Rock Band”, so I am brushing up on my drumming and guitar skills. I used to play the piano, trumpet, and tuba and my mother’s family all play five or six instruments each.
I have a small garden out back and love to cook and eat fresh food. I especially like to match a good wine with the food. I like to play and watch football and am a huge Gator fan. I hope to one day own a small farm in the country where I can grow my own food and keep my own livestock as I have a really bad food allergy.
I am a huge Gator fan and must take T vitamins to survive. I am currently going through college football off season withdrawals, and amuse myself by showing up at the local grocery store in Gator Slippers, Gator Pajamas, Gator Shirt, and Gator Hat (I also were gator underwear, but that is a closely kept secret and you must have a level 5 security clearance to see them). Anyway, if I see another gator fan, I yell at them “Go Gators!” This has made me lot’s of friends (Irritates Kimmie, and gets her to roll her eye’s at me), and has started numerous conversations, that I would not have otherwise had.
On most days, you will find me at my laptop writing comedy blogs, or conversing with other writers, working on my various projects, or playing Mobsters on myspace.
I am also returning to college soon to finish my bachelor’s degree, then going on to a masters and a PHD in Ancient History. The Gators are the only college in Florida that offers a PHD in Ancient History, so I will eventually transfer to there.
I write comedy blogs on myspace…You should check them out and subscribe if you like to laugh…
I live in Apopka, Florida…and study Martial Arts with my kids. My daughters (Rebecca and Michelle) like to draw and paint (as I do), and my son (David) loves video games (big surprise) and Pokemon. For Christmas we bought “Guitar Hero III” and “Rock Band”, so I am brushing up on my drumming and guitar skills. I used to play the piano, trumpet, and tuba and my mother’s family all play five or six instruments each.
I have a small garden out back and love to cook and eat fresh food. I especially like to match a good wine with the food. I like to play and watch football and am a huge Gator fan. I hope to one day own a small farm in the country where I can grow my own food and keep my own livestock as I have a really bad food allergy.
I am a huge Gator fan and must take T vitamins to survive. I am currently going through college football off season withdrawals, and amuse myself by showing up at the local grocery store in Gator Slippers, Gator Pajamas, Gator Shirt, and Gator Hat (I also were gator underwear, but that is a closely kept secret and you must have a level 5 security clearance to see them). Anyway, if I see another gator fan, I yell at them “Go Gators!” This has made me lot’s of friends (Irritates Kimmie, and gets her to roll her eye’s at me), and has started numerous conversations, that I would not have otherwise had.
On most days, you will find me at my laptop writing comedy blogs, or conversing with other writers, working on my various projects, or playing Mobsters on myspace.
I am also returning to college soon to finish my bachelor’s degree, then going on to a masters and a PHD in Ancient History. The Gators are the only college in Florida that offers a PHD in Ancient History, so I will eventually transfer to there.
I write comedy blogs on myspace…You should check them out and subscribe if you like to laugh…
The Mission
Part of the mission of my sex fantasy book is to provide a way for women to explore what interests them in the privacy of their own home, as a method of self exploration to better their understanding of themselves and the possibility that they can find someone who is interested in the same things...
And I would encourage two lovers to share their fantasies with each other to augment their sex life, enhancing the excitement of it, and also provide an outlet to dissipate desires that they may not want to act out in real life.
I feel that it is a much neglected area of study with lots of misconceptions by both sexes, and I see an opportunity to do some research sociology style...
I have been using women I know as sounding boards...I am switching to more of an email based feedback system now...and have teamed up with two female writers that are following my line of research
Nancy Friday did some pioneering work starting in 1968 using surveys and she is partially responsible for the "Free Love" revolution in the 1970's. However, mostly women have written about the phenomenon of female sex fantasies and popular notion is that a male can't provide any insight.
I believe that a sensitive male can provide great insight after the initial denial phase is broken thru...which is what the female writer's have been doing since 1968...So, now is the time...also, you may not realize that females sex fantasies change as the pressures on a female in society change...so, being a unique time in women's history...this work will be totally unique and completely uncharted territory.
And, if I titillate a few women in the process, then I've provided a valuable service...
Whether you want to admit it or not...all women have fantasies that excite them. It's a matter of discovering for yourself what your hot buttons are. Then, you can use that knowledge to make your life more satisfying and complete.
You can enhance your current relationship by finding out what his hot buttons are. And together you can explore your mutual hot buttons and your sex life will soar to a much higher level
The mystery of womanhood is that each one is totally unique and the same thing will not turn all of them on...what turns you on, may turn the next girl off...but, we need to find out a way to discover what that is for each woman.
My point is, that the sex industry is a multi-billion dollar industry...but, little research has been done into what women desire, and why.
Can you describe the basics of a typical fantasy for you? Does it include being watched, forced, dominated, doing something taboo, or flashing someone?
A lot of the older generation use being coerced or forced as a way of getting rid of guilty feelings...whereas the younger generation has not guilt issues, but are more interested in bi-sexuality and taboo subject.
Do you like fantasies where a man treats you like a lady, but when overcome with passion, throws you down and rips your panties off? When you masturbate, how do you envision the love making? Or does that change with your mood?
I've ordered a book that is out of print…you should read it, Nancy Friday "My Secret Garden" or "Forbidden Flowers" or "Women on Top"....1968, 1973, and 1991. See if you can find yourself in the pages...it will open up a whole new world for you...and help you understand yourself.
I really do appreciate you feeling comfortable enough with me to share your innermost secrets...I respect that. I really am a nice caring guy...and I understand how my research interest can turn women off who get objectified by every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
Would you be willing to read one of the erotic stories and give me feedback on my book idea in general? There's more to it in terms of feedback and interactive website...But, more on that later...I'm anxious for an intelligent female to look at the overview of the materials in this category and tell me that I am going to make a brilliant contribution.
And I would encourage two lovers to share their fantasies with each other to augment their sex life, enhancing the excitement of it, and also provide an outlet to dissipate desires that they may not want to act out in real life.
I feel that it is a much neglected area of study with lots of misconceptions by both sexes, and I see an opportunity to do some research sociology style...
I have been using women I know as sounding boards...I am switching to more of an email based feedback system now...and have teamed up with two female writers that are following my line of research
Nancy Friday did some pioneering work starting in 1968 using surveys and she is partially responsible for the "Free Love" revolution in the 1970's. However, mostly women have written about the phenomenon of female sex fantasies and popular notion is that a male can't provide any insight.
I believe that a sensitive male can provide great insight after the initial denial phase is broken thru...which is what the female writer's have been doing since 1968...So, now is the time...also, you may not realize that females sex fantasies change as the pressures on a female in society change...so, being a unique time in women's history...this work will be totally unique and completely uncharted territory.
And, if I titillate a few women in the process, then I've provided a valuable service...
Whether you want to admit it or not...all women have fantasies that excite them. It's a matter of discovering for yourself what your hot buttons are. Then, you can use that knowledge to make your life more satisfying and complete.
You can enhance your current relationship by finding out what his hot buttons are. And together you can explore your mutual hot buttons and your sex life will soar to a much higher level
The mystery of womanhood is that each one is totally unique and the same thing will not turn all of them on...what turns you on, may turn the next girl off...but, we need to find out a way to discover what that is for each woman.
My point is, that the sex industry is a multi-billion dollar industry...but, little research has been done into what women desire, and why.
Can you describe the basics of a typical fantasy for you? Does it include being watched, forced, dominated, doing something taboo, or flashing someone?
A lot of the older generation use being coerced or forced as a way of getting rid of guilty feelings...whereas the younger generation has not guilt issues, but are more interested in bi-sexuality and taboo subject.
Do you like fantasies where a man treats you like a lady, but when overcome with passion, throws you down and rips your panties off? When you masturbate, how do you envision the love making? Or does that change with your mood?
I've ordered a book that is out of print…you should read it, Nancy Friday "My Secret Garden" or "Forbidden Flowers" or "Women on Top"....1968, 1973, and 1991. See if you can find yourself in the pages...it will open up a whole new world for you...and help you understand yourself.
I really do appreciate you feeling comfortable enough with me to share your innermost secrets...I respect that. I really am a nice caring guy...and I understand how my research interest can turn women off who get objectified by every Tom, Dick, and Harry.
Would you be willing to read one of the erotic stories and give me feedback on my book idea in general? There's more to it in terms of feedback and interactive website...But, more on that later...I'm anxious for an intelligent female to look at the overview of the materials in this category and tell me that I am going to make a brilliant contribution.
Your Hidden Bouquet book project
Similarly, a man who talks about sex fantasies with you without getting to know your particular tastes first, is also a clod.
Are you an avid crotch watcher? Do you often wonder what a man has underneath that bulge in his pants? Do you find yourself thinking about pulling down a strange man’s pants and examining his tool? Do you think about different scenarios after you see a man’s bulge where he has his way with you? Does it excite you to think about doing it with strange men in an odd place? Then you may already have a rich fantasy life.
It may interest you to know that most other women do the same thing. Whether it’s the UPS man, Pizza guy, or your waiter at a restaurant, all women fantasize about having sex from time to time.
It doesn’t matter whether you are married to a wonderful man, or have a boyfriend who is an athlete in bed…the need to fantasize about sexual variety is an outlet that enriches your life…and, may be just the thing to let off the steam of those wild urges that keeps you from actually acting it out.
Part of the mission of my sex fantasy book is to provide a way for women to explore what interests them in the privacy of their own home, as a method of self exploration to better their understanding of themselves and the possibility that they can find someone who is interested in the same things...
And I would encourage two lovers to share their fantasies with each other to augment their sex lifes, enhancing the excitement of it, and also provide an outlet to dissipate desires that they may not want to act out in real life. I feel that it is a much neglected area of study with lots of misconceptions by both sexes, and I see an opportunity to do some research sociology style...
I have been using women I know as sounding boards...I am switching to more of an email based feedback system now...and have teamed up with two female writers that are following my line of research
I believe that a sensitive male can provide great insight after the initial denial phase is broken thru...which is what the female writer's have been doing since 1968...So, now is the time...also, you may not realize that females sex fantasies change as the pressures on a female in society change...so, being a unique time in women's history...this work will be totally unique and completely uncharted territory.
And, if I titillate a few women in the process, then I've provided a valuable service...
Whether you want to admit it or not...all women have fantasies that excite them. It's a matter of discovering for yourself what your hot buttons are. Then, you can use that knowledge to make your life more satisfying and complete.
You can enhance your current relationship by finding out what his hot buttons are. And together you can explore your mutual hot buttons and your sex life will soar to a much higher level
So, to sum it up, I am writing a series of books on female sex fantasies. It is designed to be a self-help book to aide you in exploring your secret inner subconscious world in a conscious way. And, I need your help in putting it together. I am asking for help in writing this book in three different ways:
1. By sending me ideas of what your secret sex fantasies are so that I can write about them specifically. Or,
2. By reading excerpts or stories that will be included in the book, and rating them on a scale of 1 to 10 orgasms. Or,
3. By writing out your secret sex fantasies and sending them for inclusion in my book.
The formats of the fantasy stories that are going to be used as examples are to be written in the first person with you as the person in the action. By systematically compiling examples of every possible type of female sex fantasy, I hope to end up with a book that women can read through as an exploration of what turns them on.
In the back of the book will be a checklist where you can analyze the stories that excited you (and those who don’t). You may be surprised by what you find out about yourself! Also in the back of the book, readers will be directed to a variety of feedback methods so I can continue to get valuable input for my next project. And, either through email, snail mail, or visiting our website, a reader will be able to voice their opinions, ideas, or needs.
It is my hope that this will become the ultimate self help book for women of all ages. Your level of participation is determined by what is comfortable for you. So, in the privacy of your own home, you can explore your secret subconscious sex fantasies, and achieve a greater understanding of who you are sexually, and what exactly it is that turns you on.
Technically, this is a sociological survey and the wider number of respondents I have, the more accurate it will reflect the population at large. Please help me if you are interested. You can contact me to let me know your level of interest at greglyle07@yahoo.com and let me know if you are interested in participating.
Attached you will find three examples of secret sex fantasies having to do with outdoor sex, and the excitement of almost getting caught. One I wrote, and the other two were sent to me by ladies just like you. The stories in my book will be written in the first person format from both the male and female perspectives.
Try reading the story and reflecting on whether it excites you or not, and rate the story on a scale of 1 to 10 orgasms to determine your interest level in the subject. I’m sure you get the idea. I look forward to hearing from you in the near future.
My idea for a book of erotic stories
I have an idea for a book of erotic stories...Written from the male and female perspective...Obviously I cannot write from the female perspective (Well, I can, but that would be a bit like chasing my tail). What I want is to get some real insight into real fantasies that real women have, really….
When I was in college I came across a book called, "My Secret Garden". It was a book written by a woman that was a sociologist, and she had enlisted the aid of a bunch of women to catalogue and detail female sex fantasies...I found it fascinating.
Okay, this book was created by women sending
She then tried to explain to the woman what was really behind their sex fantasies as a way of quantifying what fantasies where most common, and to help women to explore what they liked. As a man, it was fascinating to read....I'm sure I got most of the pages stuck together...My point is....that I have noticed that women seem to have a Fantasy Hierarchy, starting from just straight missionary sex, to kinky forbidden stuff....and that all women fall somewhere on the ladder in between...Also, because of societal taboos, some women are in deep denial about what really turns them on...
I started thinking about this idea as a way to make money for myself as I go thru college to get my PHD in history...I've realized for a long time that the sex industry is huge and a ton of money can be made from it. I originally thought to make porno's because that is the obvious money maker, and the filmmakers seem to have so much trouble appealing to women. And, how many times have you watched a porno that initially got your interest, and then lost it as they did something uninteresting to you?
What I want to do is this...Organize my stories according to the "rooms" in the "
My idea is to produce a book of fantasy stories written in mostly the first person...With a checklist at the end so women can explore their fantasies, discover what they like, and don't like, or just masturbate to their favorite parts. Next, I want to set up a webpage with an electronic checklist that they can fill out, and send back to me as a research tool.
I would also encourage them to send in samples of their own stories, or ones they have that I left out, and publish that as a follow up book with another checklist for more feedback.
Then, I would market the findings to men as a way to understand women's needs, and as a guide as to how to "seduce" women they like. I have a group of ladies in my Yahoo address book that form a “Reading Group,” and I have quizzed them about their fantasies and, divided them into categories corresponding roughly to the 14 categories initially discovered by
I send drafts of each story to the ladies who like that sort of thing, and have them read it. Then have them rate the story, and tell me where it falls short, or what they like about it. Then, I would re-write the stories based on their feedback, and make sure that each one is smoking' hot!
I hope to publish my book by this summer (2009), and launch the interactive website with a sociological database at the same time. I have been in contact with around 500 women on myspace from the
At that point I will hire a publicist, and see if I can get on the talk show circuit to further promote my book. A unique news hook is that I plan to appear on television in a mask to create mystery as to my true identity. Much like the band KISS did in the 1970’s.
It is my hope that this book will provide a way for women to get in better touch with their sexual fantasies, and be able to introduce and share those fantasies with their sex partners as a way of enriching their lives. What do you think of my idea?
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